No Confetti (Thank you for your (assumed) cooperation)

'No soliciting', 'No loitering', 'no smoking', even 'no shirt no shoes no service' are all well and good, but...

Where's the 'No confetti in the dining room (Thank You, -State Room Staff)' sign. Not at Home Depot, I can tell you that much.

Its in your hair, your socks, your nail beds...and these particular "flakes of fun" were snowflake-shaped so they were pointy and pokey. Worst than sand.

Confetti is sold to guests. Never to hosts. Think about it. It just proves all people love to 'fuck shit up':

Confetti is the form of destructive behaviour for nice people--people who do not only need permission from their host, but thankfulness. Bring a casserole to the new years party at Jane's?
"No I'm bringing confetti in balloons. We'll pop them with needles or little arrows or our dinner forks! Aren't I creative!!"
Jane must be impressed by my hard work for her dinner party.

Its funny actually. Junior year of high school Ms. Burns made us take one of those 'career suggestion' tests. A couple days later we would receive our results. Mine?

Sign-maker. true story.

I was not offended. I was surprised. Who included 'Sign-maker' in the career options?

Food-maker
Body-Healer
Information-explainer

Hmmm
Career-thinker-upper?

In other news, I embarrassed myself at work. While cleaning up the confetti, I couldn't help but notice that our inconsiderate party guests had left one piece of birthday cake on their platter. My mouth watered. It had been a long shift. Chocolate too! My favorite! (As of the moment)

My clean-up speed slowed as I stared longingly at the cake. No one was around, it was a private dining room! I peered around the corner to take a quick scan of the hallway. In the clear.

I carried the platter off to the side, but before indulging I decided it was a good idea to slide my finger around the edges of where the round cake had been to collect a heap of frosting.

The only problem was that the cake had been a dinosaur cake, decorated with green and BLACK icing. (and yes, the cake was for adults)

So my manager walks in, looks at me, looks at the cake and goes "Oooh, cake!" (smile)

He took my cake.

I picked up a shiny unused knife and looked at my mouth. My lips and teeth were stained black.
Oh the shame!